Memorial Day

I hope everyone had an safe and enjoyable holiday.

How do I cope?(update)

Well I’m not sure what dads choice is as of yet, but mom talked to him the other day and told him he WAS going to be on the transplant list. So from what I gather she didn’t leave him much choice. I was also told that his heart is only 30% efficiant. So I sit here still wondering how things are going to be. Hopefully at his checkup next week we will have better news.

Memorial Day, do we really remember them all?

I think everyone has a rough idea of what Memorial Day is, so there is no need to go into great detail on what it is other then a day set aside to remember those who made the ultimate sacrafice for this great country of ours. Most everyone does remember those who died in the most recent of wars our country has fought in, WWI , WWII, the Korean War, Vietnam, The Gulf War, and the present war in Iraq and Afghanistan. To those men and women I give my thanks which truly isn’t enough.

Though many of us know someone or know of someone who died in the above wars, I think we tend to forget those who died on our own soil to help protect this country. I’m talking about the men who died while trying to help build this country and protect it from the British and those who died in the Civil War. Now I know the Civil War was brother against brother and friend against friend, but none the less those men died for the same cause as many others had of the future wars. Above all we must remember those who died to help form this country so that we have the rights and privileges many of us take for granted now a days.

This section here is for the ones who also died to protecting this country and on our own soil once again. This is a little closer to my heart since this was the only way I could serve my country so to speak. These are the men and women of law enforcement, fire departments, and EMTs. Many of us don’t think of them as protecting our country from foreign invaders, but they do in a different since of the word. Each year many of these fine men and women die each year trying to protect us from criminals who feel they have the right to invade our privacy, steal our hard earned goods, or harm us in any way shape or form, and let us not forget those who died on 9/11, they died at the hands of terrorists with out even really know what was going on other then they knew they had to get people out of the towers, and did so with out concern for their own safety.

I know many will say that this day is for the men and women of the military who died to give us our freedoms, but think about it so did all these others. So when your out in the backyard this Memorial Day, grilling up the ribs, or chicken, or what ever you want to cook, and those who take to the lakes for a weekend of camping and partying, take a moment and remember those who died in past and current wars and those who fight the war at home, and remember those who fought the wars that help to form this great country, in its infancy, they deserve it too.

To all those who died for this country I give you my thanks, my gratitude and my thoughts of you this Memorial Day, I’m proud of all you. May you all rest in peace and have the good rest, you deserve it.

How do I cope?

Sat. morning I woke up as usual around 6 am to start  wake up process and have my morning coffee, so basically it started like any other day when I’m getting ready for work. When I got to the living room I noticed my dad was up already and watching an old black and white John Wayne movie. I said my good mornings to him and asked him how he had slept, to which I heard so so. I brewed my usual pot of coffee asked dad if he wanted a cup. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary other then he appeared to be having trouble breathing.

I got to work and was taking care of things there when about 9 am dad called and asked me to run a trailer up to the church for him, and to tell me that he was having mom take him to the hospital since he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. He told me not to worry (yeah right I’m not going to worry) he thought it was just allergies giving him the trouble. He told me that he would call me later to let me know what was going on or mom would call. I told him ok, that I would take care of it for him.

 I got off work around 10 am, headed to the house, got his truck and hooked up the trailer to take off to the church for him. As I’m pulling out of the ranch to head off with the trailer, mom calls me and tells me as I’m pulling on to the road; dad has had a heart attack. BAM there goes the mailbox; I took it out with the trailer. There goes my concentration. After a cpl of backups and forwards I get the trailer out and head off as fast as I can to get rid of the thing so I can get to the hospital.

I finally get to the hospital (good thing DPS wasn’t on I-20). I get in to see him and he appears to be feeling good, his breathing is a lot better. They take him to ICU for the normal 24 hours of observation. We all take turns going into see him and visit. He’s in good spirits, joking with the nurses as the come in and out.  I call work tell them what’s going on (I had to go back for my afternoon loads) and get my supervisor to come in and cover them for me.

Sunday morning I go on to work since all the family is here and its going to be crowed at the hospital and I need the distraction of work to help ease my mind. I take care of business at the office and head to the hospital for an afternoon visit with him. I get there and find out that his heart is enlarged by 4 different doctors who can’t seem to make up their minds if it’s really enlarged or slightly or grossly or what ever. They tell us they are going to do a heart cath surgery on him Monday morning to check for blockage in his arteries.

Monday is here and I take off the whole day of work to be there at the hospital for dads’ procedure. The whole family pretty much takes up the heart cath waiting room while dad is in for his procedure. After about an hour the doctor comes in a tells us he’s doing well and that the LAD is 100% blocked and that they cleaned it out and put a stint in to help keep it open and give blood flow back to the left side of his heart. He also tells us dad is going to have to have a pacemaker put in to help his heart since it is enlarged and very weak. He tells us this will have to be done in the next few months.

We all go see dad in his room up in ICU for a lil bit after they get him all settled back in. Once he’s been on his back for a few hours they will move him to a regular room, later in the day. We all go for a lil while to go eat lunch and try to relax from everything that’s been going on. Mom and my uncle and grandmother all go back later in the day to go see him and me and trey stay home to go feed animals and clean stalls.

Tuesday morning mom calls me at work to let me know dad his being released from the hospital. I get home from work and dads home relaxing and feeling a lot better. I go outside to do something for mom at the house when she comes out and tells me that the Dr. wants to put dad on the heart transplant list for a new heart. Mine falls from my chest when I hear this. She then goes on to tell me that dad tells the Dr. no do not put me on the list. He goes on to tell him, I’m 63 years old my kids are grown, I’ve raised my family, let the heart go to a young man who needs it that has small kids and still needs to raise his family. As much as I can understand why my dad said this, there is just as much I don’t understand why he said this. I feel like I’m going to be robbed of my dad sooner than should be. Does this make me selfish? I feel like I can be selfish about wanting to keep my dad around to see his grand kids grow up and get to see his great grand kids. Is this wrong of me? Why do I feel hurt? I know he’s ok for right now, but what about tomorrow, or the next day? It’s almost like someone has put a time table on my dad now and when the days hit the red X on the calendar then his times up, but if I look further on the calendar there’s another red X that’s still 20 years away. I want the one that’s 20 years away.

My Son

Ok here lately I've been writing about things that piss me off or royally get my gander up. Well tonight I'm going to write about the most important thing in my life, my son Trey. A few of you know who he is and have seen him growing up from a little boy to the young man he is becoming.  Trey is now 17 years old and taller then his old man and out weighs him(although he won't admit it). I think he is around the 6foot 2 mark or very close to it. He is your typical teenage boy, checking out girls, worrying about school, spending time with his dad, and helping his grandmother around the house. Ok maybe he aint the typical typical teenager, but I'm sure hes pretty damn close.

Only yesterday it seems like I was holding him in my arms as an infant. I remember changing a few dirty diapers and gagging the whole time on a few of them. I was 20 when he was born and wasn't ready for the path that laid ahead of me. Now I'm not saying Im or was a bad dad, I just had no clue what to do. I played the game and now was time for taking the responsiblity for it. I guess I was the lucky one, because I did get to see him take his first steps, hear is first words( I want to thank his grandmother for that one) it was damn. Everyplace she took him it was look Trey its a damn horse or damn cow or damn whatever animal they saw. I know it was all in fun and games and to annoy his dear ole dad abit too. 

Wasn't long after his first birthday his grandfather left for Kuwait to go work in the oil fields there. Shortly there after his grandmother left to go be with his grandfather. A few weeks later after Meemaw got there all hell broke loose in Kuwait as Iraq had invaded the small country. Those where a very long few days as we waited to hear from someone about what was going on. To sum it up a few monthes later all ended well, and Trey got to see his Peepaw again and Meemaw.

Things had changed for everyone including Trey as time went on. He turned 2 when we moved to Oklahoma for a job I took, and when he was 3 we moved back to Texas.

At 4 his mom and I seperated for the 3rd time I think and by the time he was 10 or 12, I had become the single parent. For roughly 3 years I barely got to see him due to my job, which is really no excuse to him, because I should have seen him more and spent more time with him. I've seen him in bad times and good times now going on many years. When he turned 14 he moved back in with me and my family and went to school in Marshall, only to have problems in school with his grades. He moved back into his moms for a year before coming back to live with me again now going on 2 years. Trey is now 17 and becoming quite the smartass at times, loves to annoy me and give me crap about my age. He loves to fish, camp and spend time with his uncle and me. 

In June of 05 our family lost my grandfather and Treys name sake. I took it very hard and I think Trey took it even harder then I did, due to the fact he was named after poppy. I was glad that they both spent alot of time together when poppy was well and two weeks before he passed away.  

Back near the end of 2005 around thanksgiving, I saw Trey grow up some what quickly when his Meemaw was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I was so proud of him taking care of her while I was at work and couldn't be there for her. As my boy grows taller and more mature, I see him becoming quite the man I hope he will become.  Trey, although I wasn't around like I should have been I am sorry for that, but no matter what you will always be my son, my boy and my friend. Trey I love you son.

WTF is up with these sick fuckers?

Let’s take a look at one topic that seems to stir quite the controversy. Porn, pornography, porno, xxx, it has several names that many people use to describe it.  If memory serves me correct pornography comes from the Latin or roman writings. Porn meaning whore, ography meaning writing. Hence the writings of whores (pornography).

 

While many over the years call it the victimless crime, or victimless addiction, I’m quite sure there are some who have been hurt by it. Some physical, some emotional, some physiologically. I am by no means an expert on the subject nor do I claim to be.

 

While I don’t care what people view of it, I do care when children or minors are brought in to it. Personally I think adults who get off on child porn are sick, twisted, and the only cure is a bullet to the head, after we cut off their dicks, balls, and for the women who view child porn off with your tits and sew your pussy shut. Hey don’t like it this is my blog and I’m going to write what I feel and want to, there’s the X up in the right hand corner click it now and leave.

 

I do find it abit odd that when a man molests a child they get severe jail time (which I think they should), but when a woman does it (i.e. the teacher in Florida) they seem to get lighter jail times. Was it because this teacher was a hottie? I’m going to say probably so, the reason I say this, a cpl of weeks later same thing happened in another state( which one escapes my memory at the moment) got  a severe jail term(once again I agree she should have), but from the pictures shown of her she was butt ass ugly. So is our justice system saying its ok for the hot women to do this and get off lightly? And if you are the ugly one, we are going to throw the book at you? I just can’t seem to fathom this, personally I think who ever you are, if you molest, rape, take pictures of children in any kind of sexual act clothed or not they should get the above said treatment. Bullets are cheap, and so is fuel to cremate the sick fucker. Take the ashes feed them to fishes (fish have to eat too ya know).

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Sex Test

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A quick funny

Why do men love blow jobs so much?

8% Love the way it feels

12% Love the feeling of Domination while getting one

80% Love it for the silence. 

This royally pisses me off.(caution extreme cussing in this one)

Sometimes I wonder why we even put with some of the shit we over there when I see shit like this. Personally I think they should have shot the fuckers who where out there clapping and having a good ole time because they thought it was great that our ONLY main allie England lost 10 troops to these ungrateful fuckers. Now granted I know that most are very grateful for what we have done, its the ungrateful ones that royally piss me off.